X-Men: Days of Future Past – The Movie That Insults Your Intelligence.

Posted: May 25, 2014 in Comic Books/Graphic Novels, Films, This Weekend in Cinema
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ok, so contrary to what the title may sound like, I actually did enjoy this film…when I was watching it. But, much like The Dark Knight Rises, as soon as you stop and think about things, the whole film is just nonsensical. What makes it worse is that this film could have been so much better very easily. None of the pressing questions I have would require big changes in the plot. I’m not sure whose fault it is, but I’m pretty sure it’s another case of director Bryan Singer just needing to throw “cool stuff” around instead of things that actually make sense. And actually, the “cool stuff” is REALLY cool. Storm and Magneto get an amazing team-up, Blink, Iceman, and Bishop are awesome, and Beast actually looks great. So what’s the problem? Spoilers follow, so be warned…

1) Blink and You’ll Miss It.

xmen-share-characters-blink

Blink is probably the coolest X-Man in the film. Basically, she can play Portal in real life, which makes for amazing fight sequences. She gets Sentinels to fly right through her portals into attacks by Warpath, Iceman, and others. There’s even a time where a Sentinel’s arm gets caught, on accident, in a portal as it is closing. The robotic arm clangs to the floor, and is not regenerated. Of course, this begs the question: “Why didn’t you close your portal on the Sentinel and cut it in half, or cut its head off? Would have saved a lot of trouble.

2) Walking on Sunshine

Look ma, one hand!

Look ma, one hand!

A big question leading up to this film was “How can Xavier walk again?” Well, turns out that Beast comes up with a serum that can both cure paralysis AND dampen your mutant powers. Aside from the fact that Beast and Xavier had a flipping CURE FOR PARALYSIS that they weren’t sharing with the world, there’s another issue here. Nobody would confine themselves to a wheelchair constantly for the rest of their life if they had a way out of it, so why isn’t Xavier out of his wheelchair more often? In fact, Beast also takes the serum, with no harmful side effects. There’s no reason for Xavier to not take a few days off from his wheelchair now and then.

3) Magic Bullets

jfk_large_0

Turns out that Magneto is in prison for killing JFK. Thus explaining the curving of the magic bullet. However, once freed from prison, Magneto says that he actually was trying to save the president. When Xavier challenges him on this, mentioning that only the Master of Magnetism could curve a bullet, Magneto says that the actual people that wanted Kennedy dead stopped him before he could guide the bullet out of the way. What? I gotta think that curving a bullet out of the way would be pretty high up on your list of things not to do Mr. Magneto. How about stopping it in mid-air? Moving the car out of the way? Taking the gun away from Oswald? This is a guy that weaves metal fibers into multiple huge Sentinels at the same time, without looking at them, and he couldn’t stop one bullet?

4) Speaking of Bullets.

x-men-days-of-future-past-movie-screenshot-quicksilver

Wolverine, Beast, Professor X, and Magneto set out to stop an assassination from happening that will trigger a horrible dystopia. Since he’s still walking around, Xavier’s powers aren’t working. So that leaves Magneto, Beast, and Wolverine. None of those people have powers that would allow them to sneak around easily. Well, maybe Nightcrawler wasn’t born yet? Ok, so its too bad that they couldn’t find someone that could sneak places. Oh, wait, except they just tracked down Quicksilver, who used his superspeed to save all of them from being shot the day before. And of course, there’s always Magneto, who should be able to stop a bullet…but he couldn’t stop one in the case of JFK, and he’s also the most unstable of all of them.

5) Blue Hulk

Beast Smash! Oh, wait, hang on...

Beast Smash! Oh, wait, hang on…

In a clear case of “needing” to get Nicholas Hoult more facetime, they went with the “I turn into a monster when I’m angry” route. Pathetic.

6) Phasing Out

See, it says "intangibility," nothing to do with time travel.

See, it says “intangibility,” nothing to do with time travel.

Can someone explain how Shadowcat, who has the power to phase through objects, can also send someone’s brain back in time?

So yeah, that’s a pretty bad job putting things together. But in the end, the movie is STILL great. Why? Because it erases or heavily changes the events portrayed in EVERY other X-Men film, except First Class! Brilliant! Also, the after credits scene is awesome!

But seriously, Bryan Singer, get your crap together and make a movie that still makes sense once you’re done thinking about it. And while you’re at it, we can go without hearing an F-bomb, or seeing Hugh Jackman’s nude bum. (Yes, both of those things happened in DOFP.)

My rating: 6/10 stars.

This Weekend in Cinema

Also out this weekend, the (bi-)annual stupid-fest that is an Adam Sandler film (Blended), Stand Clear of the Closing Doors, and forgettable films Words and Pictures and The Angriest Man in Brooklyn.

Must see: None.

Worth Your Time: X-Men: Days of Future PastStand Clear of the Closing Doors

Meh: None.

Stay Away: BlendedWords and PicturesThe Angriest Man in Brooklyn

Where do They Come From?

  • X-Men: Days of Future Past: A sequel yes, but directly adapted from the comic book story line. 
  • Blended: Original

Original: 20

Adaptation: 20

Sequel/Prequel: 6

Remake: 1

Re-release: 1

Oscarwatch

These ten films are the “Best of the Year,” IF THE YEAR ENDED TODAY. They are ranked based on likelihood of winning Best Picture at the Oscars, with #1 being most likely.

International films not included until end of year if Oscar potential exists. This weekend’s releases not included. Numbers in parenthesis are indicative of how many places the film moved from week to week.

DISCLAIMER: I may not personally recommend (or even like) all films on this list.

1) The Grand Budapest Hotel ( – )

2) Captain America: The Winter Soldier ( – )

3) The Lego Movie ( – )

4) Blue Ruin ( – )

5) Locke ( – )

6) Chef ( – )

7) Veronica Mars ( – )

8) Joe ( – )

9) Godzilla (NEW)

10) Belle ( – )

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